*EDGING GOD OUT*

Im trying to take a break from my usual ramblings,SO people read this and take a dig at me!!

The topic I have chosen today is *EGO*

I think all of us ought to have one…
It’s a Human thing and one has to have it to survive in this world….
Last week I was telling a friend that I have always been a huge admirer of my own work; I’m one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.
She called me a Egotist. That’s so unfair!!!
I think my judgment is good. I know what is funny…..

My Ego is going to apply for statehood. And if it's accepted, it will be the fifth largest…

I was Sipping my thrid Round of Scotch whiskey,it was a pretty dull evening Until Gavina and Neville walked in.....
Gavin the typical scot with an Amazing Sense of Humor and Neville,the Stiff upper lipped Brit,Everythime they got together ,

ENTERTAINMENT WAS ASSURED!!!

It Started as usual with Neville Saying

"Get me a Bushmills,and keep the Scotch Away from me!"
Neville was a True Brit who drank Irish whisky,and Swore by it!!

Gavina finally switched her mobile fone off,but i was sure she heard what Nev had said,and i was already gettin ready to aribitrate...

"Get me a scotch,NEAT,and leave the bottle here" She said,

It was not like her to ignore Nev's comment... and voila!!!
It came out like a cork outta a champagne bottle.."the Only think good about England is the SCOTCH "she said....

And it was time and i had to MOVE in and change the topic,before there was a fist fight between the scots and the British Blokes there....

I turned to Gavs,she was the Fiery one and i had to cool her down.

"What did ya have for Breakfast Gavs?"I asked her.

"Oats!!" She replied with a smile,And blv me,she had the most beautiful smile i have ever seen,

Nevy was on a roll and he looked Gavs and said "Oats?? you had Oats for Breakfast?thats what we feed Horses Back In England" he said with a wry smile on His stupid face!!

and my fiery friend was not going to let go,

She Gulped her SCOTCH "Yes Neville,No wonder Britian has the best Horses and Scotland the best brains".. and you dont wanna say that in bar filled with MAD British Soccer fans...

My mind was racing when 20 Blokes who looked like mammoths turned around,

A man's gotta do what man's gotta do, i said "Cheque Please!!!"....

In the Convoluted armory of human emotions, culpability is like a small Pistol,

Firing against Patten tanks… its jus a million times too small…

When guilt Surfaces, its not like we welcome it with a red carpet and Christmas trees,

Its Like having Santa AT Satan’s party on Christmas Eve….

I hope Santa doesn’t do that… NOT ON X’MAS EVE ATLEAST!!!

;)

"To you i'm an atheist,to god,i'm loyal opposition" Woody Allen

Last week i had a vision; It had the White Angel, the Lights, the WORKS!!

This like winged thingy called out to me, he was carrying a white cloth,

it was a sheet,and it had names I think!I was a bit peeved, I said its 2:30 am, and you better have a good explanation for waking me up at this hour!

And turn off those lights for Christ’s Sake!! 'Nay, he said!He said I have a list of people, who hate god, and he read it out, and my name was not on it!I said, ok!! Now what’s the big idea?

I bitch about god all day and my names not in the list?This vote is rigged, I said!

The angel immediately pulled another List, now cut the crap out, what the hell is this?

He read out my name, it was on the top!:) Whoa cool I said, im on the top!He said this of list of people whom god HATES!I was surprised, i thought god loved his children?!

And i looked at the Angel;the little damned thing was sticking his Tongue out at me and was giving me the FINGER!!!I HAVE NEVER SEEN AN ANGEL DO THAT, NOT EVEN IN SOUTHPARK!!!!!!!!!And he had a personalized message for me from god,

He said the LORD CALLED ME A SON OF A...DEVIL!!Damn you! I said.

I need to get to work tomorrow. Get lost and turn those damn lights off and that lousy Mozart symphony u got playing in the back...HEY!!!!!!!!!! Who turned out the lights...

PS: I Swiped the concept from Leigh Hunt!!

I got a Fleeting Glimpse,Damn!!!!my watch was Running Slow!!!

I had to get down three Flights In 27 seconds,Take Left,walk past the Boss's Office,
Walk thru the Back Aisle,Take a Right...........
And CATCH my Breath............

Whoa!! the Smelll of Freedom,Almost as good as the Dior Addict she wears....

"Good Evening Aarti,How are you??"

And she would give me that Million Dollar Smile and say
" Simply great Abhi!! how you doin? "

And man!!! that would jus make my day...and i'd have that stupid grin on my face all Evening.

I've been doing that for 4 Tuesdays now,and its not bad afterall.
Last Tuesday Evening,i actually got out on time,I couldnt wait to
Go home,i was working from 7 am and i need some sleep,

I got out looked Around,Lighted a cigarette and i heard someone call out my name!!

I thought it was Mrs Robinson,My Friend,Philosopher and Guide,Inspiration at work... And sometimes my lady love in my Fantasies.:)

I turned Around,Sporting my stupid Grin,there she was..
Standing like Aphrodite!!wavin to me,

I walked up to her and said,
''something i can help you with ma'am?''.

She said "i wanna have Dinner here someplace!!Know any good Joints?"

That's how we Ended up having had Dinner at the cozy corner of the Finest Restaurant,in the gas station nearby!!

Thats not very romantic,but at 10:30 in the evening,the city going to sleep,the Breeze blowin

Thru those concrete Buildings and a Big BirdS Landing and Taking off the Tarmac,

it was awsome!!

THATS HOW ROMANTIC A CITY CAN GET!

This is the same place where i entertain Friends,Ex girl friends & Colleauges,

Aarti , a real doll, she's a great conversationalist,she loves avaition and i think like em Big Birds toooo.......
A bit stuck on herself, but with a perfect face and body, who can blame her?
She was standing a few yards away from me,she looked like Aphrodite rising from the foam of the waves of the sea, enchanting anyone who sees her and inciting feelings of love and lust wherever she goes...I wanted to tell her,when you take of a man's time, you've taken a part of his life.I'd like to thank you for giving me a part of your life tonight,this was jus 2 minutes into the meeting,i enjoyed every second of it.

She loves a Cigarette before a good Meal,after a good meal..
and sometime's during a good meal,that's good....

Active Smoking is way better than Passive Smoking.

She likesDavidoff,Not the Perfume,the Cigarette!

With her pay she can Afford it,with my pay,i can jus look at her blow her damn pay!!!

She Loves Chocotini and would do anything for one,she also told me not to let my imagination run wild,but she really WOULD do "ANYTHING FOR ONE";)..

The devil in me jus wouldnt let me be!

Thats all the good Stuff about her.

Her Vices, I dont know and dont really Give a damn, more Vices = More Fun!!!

And a couple of weeks back,she broke up with her BF,Tsk..Tsk...

Every job has its perks,mines has more perks than pay,im not Cribbing.....
Perks on the Job,Perks off the job..hey,this is as good as it can get.

IM A HAPPY MAN WITH VERY FEW COMPLAINTS.
I have a lot of great memories, but I can't imagine anything more exciting than the life I have now.



I'm all set,A Shine on my shoes,A smile on my face....Tuesday here i come!!!


PS:NOT BASED ON A TURE STORY.