Star Spangled Tiranga!!!

I like Indians,I like Americans.... But When it comes to Indian Americans,Hmmm!!!!

I met this Guy the other day,He was about 35+ Born and Brought Up in Not So singara Chennai,He's Been in the US for About 12 Plus years....I noticed a remarkable Change in the Attitude and accent of this guy!!Here are a few examples of How these "Wannabe" Peeps make a total JACKASS of themselves!!!

My Aunt came up to me the other day,She this
"IM TOTALLY AMERICAN,But indian by birth types"who drinks
"DOUBLE BAWILED wadder"(Double boild water)...
She came up to me and and very innocently asked me,"where's mount road? I forgot where it is,is it still there?
"This is when the Blood pressure in my body jus RISES,all the way to the sun"
Well,It in the same place for the last 45 frickin YEARS!!! We jus change names every year,We BUILD new roads once in five years before the elections!! She forgot where mount road is!! Sheeessh People!!"

I met this other freak..I had a MEEDING(MEETING) with him,I was late!! He called me on my cell phone ,this is how it went.

He said " Doood,Im Waiting in the Laaby "

"Wtf is a LAABY man?!"

He said "Laaby as L.O.B.B.Y"..

I forgt the wannabe flu caught him!! Americans might call it Laaaby ..we dont do that here brother!

Freak # 3 :"DO you think i can get a Kaaal cab here "
"a CALL CAB?!?!"

"jEEEZZZ one more Freak show! "

"we get these YELLOW CABS in New York City! "
"We have these YELLOW AUTOS in chennai CITY!!,U bloody freak "

MAn these PEOPLE JUS GET ON MY B@L#S ..AHHHHHH!!!!!

SoUnD Of SiLeNcE

Have you EVER stopped listening to your FAVORITE song,Cause it once was the FAVORITE song of your NOT SO beloved ex gal?!?!

"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege"..
Well,im a sentimental superstitious fool... i can't help it!!

"You're an Ars$%&#e!!!" She told me..
My colleague has an uncanny ability of putting me down with finesse.

I realised that i havent listened to a LOT of songs coz i've been stupid.

Here's a List of songs which are on my not so popular list:

1) Turn me on-Kevin Little
2)Unna Vida-Virmandi
3)Ninaithu Ninaithu -7G Rainbow Colony
4)Half Light-Athlete
5)Fuzon-Saawan Beeto
6)Maria-Blondie
7)Ennai Pandhada-Ullam Ketkume...

THese are good songs.. but jus can't Fu%$#^ stand them Anymore.. jus brings back a lot of good Memories,Memories,which shalll always be memories,i dun want a Tsunami of Memories.. i'm very happy with Life right,i got the best of everything a guy could ask for,i'm a whiner,but iu have nuthing to whine about...

The richness of life lies in memories we have forgotten....
im bloggin after a long time and i came up with something sooo gay!!!

No offense to the "GAY PEOPLE"im sure you u LIKE what ur DOING!!

360 Days to Infinity

Hamara Kal..Hamara Aaj..Hamara kal...hamara aaj.

Buland bharat ki .....buland tasveeeerrr............
Hamara BAJAJ.. HAMARA BAJAJ....

Do you remember this advert?! the chetak scooter?!This is one of my all time favorite adverts..

Days when people "WAITED" to watch their favorite Adverts.

I decided to write about this after i saw this big hoarding on the road for the new ford fiesta it read :THEY CAME THEY SAW..they went fida!!!

What the hell is FIDA?!"I came, I saw, I conquered." wasnt that a line by Julius Cesar?!?!Made in abt 47 bc?!?!?This is not repacking those lines! this is a rip off!!! a cheap rip off?!?! the people at the company had to rip off a line from Julius cesar?! and the boss approved it!!

Maybe this is how it goes... A big carmaker gives u whopping deal... u hire a few Nincompoops,spend loads of dosh on them,get a big star in the advert..surf the internet..steal lines from great peeps..Add words like "FIDA"to it and Actually SHOW it to ur boss..who approves it!! way to go !!!
Buland Bharat ki buland tasveer, Hamara Bajaj. then the new ad which featured all the bikes from the bajaj stable ,the bikes avoid running over the rangoli!!!An Advert in which a man gives lift to an old lady at a bus stop,when there's a HOT gal standing there..Adverts like these are not great concepts..simple day to day things packaged well... and these adverts make u feel good at times :).
There was this advert Cadburys i think, ONE ball,Six runs and the batsman scroes and his wife runs into the fld,dodging the guard,and goes on her knees,and this guys covers his face in embarassment...And the line goes "Kya Swaad hai...Zindagi kaaa".. and another unforgatble ad i like is the Moods Condom ad... The Ye Kya Hua song! Wow.. Its so difficult to sell a condom ad in india,and its even to difficult to sell it with SOME erotic scenes.. but this was a a soopar job done by i dont know who..but Hats off to that team!!




PS:Before i go,i saw this poster,this was a poster by a leading condom manufacturer this is what it read
If you are a user of our competitor's products
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY :)

B.E.E.R

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a Bottle!
~ Dave Howell

Beer,Bier,bière,μπύρα,birra....
Asterixs' Magic Potion,
The Secret Ingredient in Popye's Spinach :P

Beer, the common man's cabernet Sauvignon.....

I love this drink and wanna write about it... but i kinda have writers block...

I need beer to write about beer.... CHEERS..time out!!!

Ill write more,my ideas are just brewing!!!

Obituary

What else should I beAll apologies.What else could I say?!?!


Hey i'm sorry i dint mean to Hurt you or be rude this morning,

its jus that people and priorities in my life have changed and since u dont fit in either of those categories and the fact that i dontl love you and the fact that i am trying to move on and the fact that WE WILL NEVER happen again is a little too Mind boggling.. I KNOW SHIT HAPPENS!!Thats why i said im feeling very uncomfortable to talk to you.. either we were in love or we had "convienient" Relationship..i dunno..that bothers the shit outta me.. i wanna avoid all that.
Im doing this for us..LOL!!!

Las palabras salen cuando entra el vino...now Consigamos acostar !!!

ThE nIgHt AfTeR

Whiskey the elixer of Christmas cheer!!!! The Magic potion when consumed from a crystal glass puts a glow in a man’s heart… the Divine Nectar that makes you feel like god!!!

Whiskey takes you back in time…turns your world into a black and white photograph…. Bringing back those romantic moments that you’d thought would stay on for ever, but were over when her cell phone rang, and her ol man’s number flashed on the screen…

Hmmm…a time of innocence can see the past and ur future thru a glass of Whiskey..

The folks are here… all set to play. The ROOM filled with the usual Saturday night hordes…. sometimes as bad as the hordes of the Great Genghis Khan…

The flavor of the peat..and the spirit gets you inebriated…slowly…jus the way it has to be.
You dance.ur body sways with the music,whisky brings out the best in every man!!!
Pleasantly drunk now.A few drinks away from barfing ….
The music suddenly sounds better………louder… faster…

The room is filled with people..who move like you..u can see em all there ,wannabes..Potheads and drunks swoon. The biggest drunk croons with the music..(Whiskey dsnt make ppl do that) .

The morning after, it looks like a battlefield, GALLIPOLLI revisited, Neanderthal caves looked better im sure…Bar stools shaken…but not stirred… Men an women huddled up in corners..

Men with women whose names im sure, slipped with the night…

Time to get home now… I need black tea..

This blog is dedicated to Ms.Pooja Ashok ...Cheers to you Ma'am!!!

You will Always get the Best of me....

COMING SOON.......

Looking Out the Window..

She’s sitting on the street and watching our feet

She wants to be a star, she wants a flashy cars…
She's so happy nobody really knows her,
Her chances of becoming a star are really dim

I see her everyday…. everyday in the morning
And now it’s raining without no warning….

I ran out to see her…it was still pouring,
I guess she’s gone…. To someplace far away,
I ran all over… all over asking everyone…

Then the rain stopped I looked into the shops,
I saw this girl and she was there,sipping her coffee or whatever she had...
My Guardian Angel...
REST IN PEACE.....

Jai Hind

PROUD TO BE AN INDIAN,BUT NOT VERY PROUD OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN THE COUNTRY...


There was a Bomb Hoax in the INDIAN Parliament today,these Hoaxes are getting a bit outta hand,but the Bright side is,India's Chances of winning a GOLD Medal in the 2008 OLYMPICS jus went from Minus 1.2 Billion to 100...After the bomb Hoax.. u shud have seen em parliamentarians RUN... they set record time!!! Some of them were faster than FLO jo and PT USHA.... yep,they are being considered for the Arjuna award...Maybe this is what they call "A RUN FOR THE MONEY THEY SWINDLED??"..

Another Intresting story..

The Lower house had a DEBATE on the NATWAR issue,An Isssue Most of the Indians Give a damn about!!!

Attendance in the Lower House for this ISSUE :100 PERCENT.

Storms in Tamil Nadu,Hundred's Homeless,water everywhere,
Flooded Streets,No Electricity in most of the cities,Literally left the state Devastated...

Attendance in Parliament for this ISSUE: 20 PERCENT.

A TRIP TO THE TAJ MAHAL :Rs 15,000

A TRIP TO THE POLLING BOOTH AND VOTING FOR THE MOST CORRUPT CONTESTANT TO THE INDIAN LOWER HOUSE :Rs 250 CRORES APPROX.

REGRETTING THAT DECISION FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS:PRICELESS

THERE ARE SOME MOMENTS THAT MONEY CAN'T BUY,FOR EVERYTHING ELSE THERE'S ......


Mera Bharath Mahan

Jai Hind..

Metamorphosis

People fall outta love all the time,i mean u dont fall out of love per se,
but the love u feel for people changes...

There are many diff types of love
filial, parental, platonic, friendship, dependence, passion,security..
All have different shades and sometimes these shades change,
The love doesnt go away it just evolves or metamorphosis.

When I look back on what we had someday,
I know I will still have a reason to smile...

CHEERS

Ramblings of An Alcoholic~~~

Sleep !!!! The devil is lookin for his successor,
I'm hiding deep inside my thoughts, not letting my evil thoughts
get the better of me.

This does not make any sense to me,my mind wanders like the bedouin in the desert,
and wants to reach a place called nowhere.....

The Man who knew Infinity.......

Srinivasan Ramanujan
1887-1920

He was tutored by the great English mathematician G.H. Hardy.
Together they collaborated on numerous papers which startled the worlds leading. mathem’cians
When Hardy was asked ‘What was your greatest discovery?’ He replied Ramanujan.
When Hardy visited Ramanujan during his illness he remarked that the number of the Taxi cab was 1729 a rather dull number and hoped it was not a bad omen..
‘No Hardy’ said Ramanujan. ‘It is the smallest number that expresses the sum of two cubes in two different ways---1729 = 12^3 + 1^3 = 10^3 + 9^3.



12*12*12=1728

1*1*1=1=1


10*10*10=1000

9*9*9=729

V for VODKA!

If the ocean was made of vodka and I were a duck,

I would swim to the bottom and never come up.

But since the ocean isnt vodka and

Im not a duck,

Just hand me the bottle and shut the f**k up.

im too bored to type this again!!

Mon Premier Baiser!!!!

"I hear the drizzle of the rain...Like a memory it falls
Soft and warm continuing...Tapping on my roof and walls.
And from the shelter of my mind.....Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets."

To England where my heart lies........""Paul Simon

"6 O five Am"Damn the Alarm,I hate this Contraption,
I hate it for Two reasonS,

A)Coz of the Stoopid noise it makes,before and after announcing the time,
B)And Because My Friend Gave it to me,Coz she thinks I have no sense of time.

I had to Run to the SHower,Its Pretty Freezing at 6 am and And Standing Under the SHower
is not the Greatest of Pleasures....
The Reason i do it Religiously is coz i told her i'd be at the PARK by 6 35 Am,
No not the PARK hotel,the PARK like the park,the one with Trees,Morning Walkers,
Grass(naaa not that Grass)!!!!
My Father always told me Never to Keep a lady waiting,She would be there waiting for me!!

OR so i thouhgt!!!!! I was there by 6:50... But i guess her father never told her,NOT to keep a man waiting....
I have never ever in my Life waited so Patiently for Anyone,and definetly not in A PARK AT 7 AM!!!!
Finallly..... She came,With a big Smile and looked so damn Cute in her jammies,I couldnt say a word!!
I smiled Back and greeted her with a hug,this PROCESS was RepeAted for 3 WEEKS!!!!!!
I remember the first kiss.. or almost the first kiss, i was almost there and she turned around and said " ur gonna kiss me right" Pooofff there went the moment like an atom bomb it took me a long time after that... But gudia..(she hates that name:)
My first love..and i really can't write her name here..tsk tsk!!!
She was a doll!!!! :)

After three Sleepless weeks, i said those three MAGIC words..and thing changed!!!:D
GOOODDD I LOVED that gal... Too sad she'll ne'er come back!! Bt i hope she gets the best of everything in Life! I acted like such a jerk... I must say i
had the time of my Life.. I HAVE NO COMPLAINTS ON ANY FRONT.
I thank her for giving me the best moments and at time the best Breakfast of my life...

Thanks Bybe

"So when I see you next we'll make the most of it,Tell the sun to start moving again,
The taste of your kiss I still got on my lips,And ill take you there with me......"

The Unauthorized Biography:

There are three distinct, yet overlapping phases of recovery.
We go through each phase no matter what the loss.
The only difference is the intensity of the feeling, and duration.

The First stage is shock\denial\numbness.

The Second stage is fear\anger\depression.

The Third stage is understanding\acceptance\moving on.

This is a lifetime of goodbyes, as we continue with life
We will say goodbye to cherished and sometimes the not so Cherished people,things and ideas,we must learn to say a good good-bye.

It hurts sometimes but a glass shot of vodka sure does make you feel good :)...

When an Emotional injury takes place, the body begins a process as natural as the healing Of a physical wound.

Let this process happen. Trust that nature will do the healing, Know that the pain will pass and, When it passes,

you will be stronger, Happier, more sensitive and aware.

I jus like WRIting INTENSE stuff or so called intense stuff...

HAPPY HOURS :
HOW DRUNK HAVE YOU BEEN?

Buzzed: is after a few ounces of alcohol or a few bottles of beer, when you can FEEL the alcohol in ur veins, and when you can drive reasonably well, when you can remember your mobile number and when u can still use the indicator a viper controls with getting confused…

Inebriated: this is when my FEELING starts to get GOOOODDD, i tend to be nice to people my driving skills go from bad to worse and at this is the point I handover my keys next most sober person…. your judgments are clouded and when you think your Ex Gf is a DOLL!!
(Though this changes quickly).

Drunk: this is when I start thinking if sly stallone can drive a race car on a freeway (driven), I can drive a normal car after a few rounds of whiskey! This is the time when the most boring person in the group sounds interesting, this is the time when profanity is WORD of the day!

Fuc**d in Two: This is when, my super human skills come to the fore, im all set,
With Underwear on my pants, spiderweb on my hands, the bat mobile ready and waiting for me. And at this point im confused, I don’t know I should crawl, fly or drive,
I feel invincible, and no one can stop me, not the police, not the army NOT EVEN MY MOTHER!!
A point where I see no LIGHT, NO TOYOTA' QUALIS intercepters with fat pot bellied sleepy policemen standing around it, NO SPEED SIGNS,zebra crossings or rabid dogs running across the road... its jus ME at the wheel....
I DON’T KNOW WHAT IM SAYING, I don’t even know if im saying something!!

Abhisheked: THE NIRVANA stage on the Drunk scale…
A stage when I when I cant find my car keys, it takes me 20 mins to turn on the computer, the time when I want to call my ex Gf for all the wrong reasons.

The Other Things i can do :

*Make loud, obnoxious noises and brag about my achievements..

*Start fights with small UN armed people.

*Claim I can do things, which when sober I cant even explain.

*Get angry with my house keys cause they won't open the door..

*Throw the damn keys away….

*Spend the next 90 mins searching for those damned keys..

*Have long conversations over unimportant topics, topics I would give a shit about when I was sober…

BLACK OUT!!!

*EDGING GOD OUT*

Im trying to take a break from my usual ramblings,SO people read this and take a dig at me!!

The topic I have chosen today is *EGO*

I think all of us ought to have one…
It’s a Human thing and one has to have it to survive in this world….
Last week I was telling a friend that I have always been a huge admirer of my own work; I’m one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.
She called me a Egotist. That’s so unfair!!!
I think my judgment is good. I know what is funny…..

My Ego is going to apply for statehood. And if it's accepted, it will be the fifth largest…

I was Sipping my thrid Round of Scotch whiskey,it was a pretty dull evening Until Gavina and Neville walked in.....
Gavin the typical scot with an Amazing Sense of Humor and Neville,the Stiff upper lipped Brit,Everythime they got together ,

ENTERTAINMENT WAS ASSURED!!!

It Started as usual with Neville Saying

"Get me a Bushmills,and keep the Scotch Away from me!"
Neville was a True Brit who drank Irish whisky,and Swore by it!!

Gavina finally switched her mobile fone off,but i was sure she heard what Nev had said,and i was already gettin ready to aribitrate...

"Get me a scotch,NEAT,and leave the bottle here" She said,

It was not like her to ignore Nev's comment... and voila!!!
It came out like a cork outta a champagne bottle.."the Only think good about England is the SCOTCH "she said....

And it was time and i had to MOVE in and change the topic,before there was a fist fight between the scots and the British Blokes there....

I turned to Gavs,she was the Fiery one and i had to cool her down.

"What did ya have for Breakfast Gavs?"I asked her.

"Oats!!" She replied with a smile,And blv me,she had the most beautiful smile i have ever seen,

Nevy was on a roll and he looked Gavs and said "Oats?? you had Oats for Breakfast?thats what we feed Horses Back In England" he said with a wry smile on His stupid face!!

and my fiery friend was not going to let go,

She Gulped her SCOTCH "Yes Neville,No wonder Britian has the best Horses and Scotland the best brains".. and you dont wanna say that in bar filled with MAD British Soccer fans...

My mind was racing when 20 Blokes who looked like mammoths turned around,

A man's gotta do what man's gotta do, i said "Cheque Please!!!"....

In the Convoluted armory of human emotions, culpability is like a small Pistol,

Firing against Patten tanks… its jus a million times too small…

When guilt Surfaces, its not like we welcome it with a red carpet and Christmas trees,

Its Like having Santa AT Satan’s party on Christmas Eve….

I hope Santa doesn’t do that… NOT ON X’MAS EVE ATLEAST!!!

;)